Articles

Native Women Just Can’t Anymore

Sex can be fun and empowering. However, some of us – especially women – are judged for enjoying sex. Others are shamed, harassed, or even bullied for how we express our sexuality. This shaming takes many forms, such as being called a “slut” or having rumors spread about us.  

But, hello?! The fact is that sex is enjoyable! And everyone should be able to express their sexuality and desire to have sex (or not) without shame.   

So, how can we shut down sex shamers and shift our own and others’ thinking? 

#1 School yourself  

Native women have been hyper (over) sexualized by white settlers from the git. And these “old” ideas still circulate in U.S. culture today. Just think about the Disney cartoon, Pocahantas. Not only was Pocahantas drawn to look like America’s next top model, but the plot suggests that she and John Smith (an English colonist) were lovers. Eh hem… that’s 100% fake news. The truth is that Pocahantas was only 12 years old, and John Smith essentially kidnapped her. Ew. Nothing about that is sexy or romantic, but ideas like these about Native women’s sexuality float around in our media and impact how we think and feel about ourselves today.  

So what can we do? A good place to start is schooling yourself about history and Native appropriation. You can also be a thoughtful consumer of media (i.e. question the things you read, see and hear). Learn more about how false representations of Native people can impact our thinking here. 

Shutting down shamers  

As Native women, we can reclaim our bodies and how we think about ourselves. Part of this is learning to shut down sex shamers.  

If you feel safe (and have the time and energy), here’s how you can shut down sex shamers:  

  • Don’t accept sex-shaming from your community  

If your friends or family talk negatively about people (including celebrities) because they like to have sex or post sexy pictures online, call them out on it. A perfect phrase to say? “Her body, her rules.” 

  • Remind them that it isn’t the 1950s 

The standard women were held to in the 1950s was to be prim and proper. A lot has changed since then, and the world we live in now is much more progressive. Remind sex shamers that you are a worthwhile and valuable woman regardless of your sexuality and how you express it.  

  • Ask them if your sexual behavior is hurting them in some way 

Most of the time, sex shamers are insecure. They may even feel jealous of another woman’s confidence. If you’re sex-shamed, simply ask, “is my behavior hurting you somehow?” This might leave the shamer surprised and not entirely sure how to answer. 

 The world is not a perfect place 

Sometimes we feel humiliated, embarrassed, or ashamed of our sexuality. This is understandable. The world is not a perfect place. There are harmful portrayals of Native women in our society and being judged for who we are can make us feel bad about ourselves.  

Consider these tips for boosting your self-esteem 

Finally, make sure you talk to a trusted adult or supportive friend if someone is harassing or bullying you about your sexuality (or anything else). Allowing others to help us carry our burdens can make the load feel lighter. Plus, others often have valuable ideas to consider when dealing with a bully. So, share your experience!  

To learn about effective communication and feeling good about yourself, check out these resources:  

Author: Stephanie Paz is a Tigua Indian of Ysleta del Sur Pueblo. She has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from The University of Texas at El Paso and is working towards a Master of Public Health in Health Behavior and Health Promotion from New Mexico State University.

What is Roe v. Wade?

You might have heard about Roe v. Wade being “overturned.” This article...

How To Prepare for Your First Date

First dates can be both exciting and nerve-racking, whether it’s your first...

Sexual Orientation: A Spectrum Of Attraction

HPV Vaccine

Human papillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections...

Wait what?! That’s what you do with lube?

A little-known fact is that lube can be a real game-changer when...

Sex Assigned at Birth and Gender Identity: What Is The Difference?

The Real Story about Dental Dams

Giving and receiving oral sex can be fun and feel good. But...

Internal Condom Instructions

***Remember to always check the expiration date and package of any condom...

Sexual Orientations Explained: Lesbian, Gay, Heterosexual and Bisexual

How to Use an External (Male) Condom

If you choose to have sex, condoms can protect you and your...

Condom Shopping Guide

Get the facts!

Becoming Jane Doe

Alara, an Athabaskan and Tlingit transwoman, found her gender identity through drag....

Types of Abortion

Abortion is a safe and effective medical procedure that ends a pregnancy.  ...

6 Questions to Help You Find the Right Birth Control for You

Are you curious about what birth control options are out there? Here...

There’s Heart Here

Roller derby champion. Activist. Cyclist. Follow three indigenous members of the Two...

What’s PrEP

PrEP makes preventing HIV easy. But, what is PrEP, and who is...

Access to Abortion

The overturning of Roe v. Wade has caused concern about safe access...

Saying Yes or No: What Is Consent?

How to Use the Pill

The birth control pill (“the pill”) is simple to use and can...

Getting Tested for HIV

If you’re thinking about getting tested for HIV, it’s normal to have...

Consent And Communication

Here’s What You Should Know About Body Sovereignty

You may have heard that Tribal Nations have sovereignty. This means that...

Native VOICES episode 2

Winter is here and so is snagging season. Use condom sense and...

Consent Explained: What Is It?

Native VOICES Episode 4

We all care about protecting ourselves and the ones we love. Embrace...

Native VOICES Episode 3

We R Native. We R Proud. Accept Yourself. Protect Yourself. Tune in...

Top Signs Boys are in Puberty

Native VOICES episode 1

50 Shades of Grey? Nah, try 50 Shades of Native VOICES! The...

Infant Immunization Week

To promote the importance and achievements of vaccines, especially in protecting the...

Top Signs Girls are in Puberty

Banana Pancakes

February is the month of love and a time to recognize that...

Shea Norris

My name is Shea Norris, I’m 23 years old and I come...

Taking Care of Your Body During Puberty

Reese Tahmalwash

I am Reese Tahmalwash, I’m from the northwest, am a member of...

Randy George

My name is Randy T George. I’m 27, full blooded Native. I’m...

Puberty: What Is Doctor Confidentiality?

Safer Sex

Safer sex reduces our risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD)....

Pap Smear Screening

A Pap smear, also called a Pap test, is part of a...

Accessing Sexual Health Care for Minors

Masturbation

Most people do it – yet so many people worry about it!...

Bodies: Different Shapes and Sizes. All Beautiful!

Does Penis Size Really Matter?

Menstruation: What To Expect

Period Hygiene: Tampons, Pads and Menstrual Cups

How the Boner Grows

All About Getting Your Period

Masturbation: Totally Normal

Puberty and Finding Out Who You Are

I Like the Minty ones

  Native VOICES – the best sex ed videos you’ll every watch...

Lived Experience: Reese’s Story

LGBT: loved & accepted

A Gift from the Creator

LGBTQ-Two Spirit: You are a gift from the Creator. You are part...

Lived Experience: Shea’s Story

Two Spirit: loved & accepted.

My friend made a comment about a video she’d seen of an POC dancing, and how she was shocked on how they were ACTUALLY good at dancing. When me and a friend said she sounded racist, she got mad and sat at a dif table(lunch). What do i do

see answer

Find Us

Follow Us

Enter Phone Number to Subscribe:

Msg & Data Rates May Apply.
Text STOP to opt out. No purchase necessary.
Expect 4 msgs/mo.Terms and Conditions

Menu