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Real Talk About Sexual Pleasure

Sexual pleasure comes from understanding how your body works and what feels good to you and others. But how can you learn about healthy sex and pleasure? This article offers basic information about sexual pleasure that everyone can benefit from.

What is sexual pleasure?
Sexual pleasure is physical, emotional, and/or spiritual satisfaction from sexual experiences. These experiences can be with another individual, other individuals, or yourself.

Some common types of activities that can provide sexual pleasure are:

  • Masturbating alone or with others
  • Oral, vaginal, and anal sex
  • Kissing
  • Rubbing your bodies together
  • Massage
  • Using sex toys
  • “Sexting” or phone sex

What feels good to you sexually might not feel good for someone else. Everyone is different when it comes to sexual preferences and desires. Communicating about what you like or don’t like and listening to what your partner likes and doesn’t like can help you understand what’s okay and what’s off limits.

Learn your body
There is no “right way” to experience sexual pleasure. Finding out what you like might take time, so practicing patience with yourself is important. You can practice self-pleasure, aka masturbation, to get an understanding of how your body works.

Talk about it
Do you have any sexual positions or activities you enjoy or want to try? Talk about it. Others might be interested or enjoy these things as much as you do! In sexual relationships, whether it’s a  “friends with benefits” connection or a committed relationship, understand that sexual pleasure is a matter of mutual interest. As long as you and your partner(s) consent, you can be as sexually adventurous as you want.

How should I communicate?
Great sex is based on communication. Trusting and respecting those you are intimate with is the foundation for comfortable, pleasurable sex. Open communication is necessary for giving and receiving sexual pleasure. This can look like:

  • “I like it when you touch….”
  • “Do you want me to…”
  • “Does this feel good for you?”
  • “I really enjoy….”
  • “How do you feel about….”

Experiencing sexual pleasure involves understanding what feels good to you and others by exploring and talking about it.  To learn more about sex, pleasure, and respect, check out these resources:

Author: Stephanie Paz is a Tigua Indian of Ysleta del Sur Pueblo. She has a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from The University of Texas at El Paso and is working towards a Master of Public Health in Health Behavior and Health Promotion from New Mexico State University.

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