Enjoying sex or openly expressing your sexuality doesn’t make you a “slut.” It makes you human. However, some people might try to shame you. But, come on! Everyone should be able to express their sexuality and acknowledge that sex is pleasurable without fear.
Here’s how to shut down slut shamers like a pro if it happens to you or someone else:
“I didn’t know clothes could talk!” – If you or someone else is wearing a tight dress, high heels, or anything with less coverage than a grandma’s outfit, and someone makes an inappropriate comment, simply respond with, “Wow, I didn’t know clothes could talk!” What a person wears does not define them.
“I think they look great.” – If you witness someone else being shamed, give props and validate the shamed person’s clothing and appearance. You’ll likely silence the person doing the shaming, and make others who agree with you feel more confident and secure about their own personal choices.
“Why does it bother you so much?” – A slut-shamer typically judges based on their own morals and values. If you have the energy and time, encourage the shamer to talk through their logic and challenge their assumptions. Start by asking them, “Why does it bother you so much? ‘It’s my/their body.”
“Nobody likes a hater.” – Shaming someone for their clothing, sexual choices, or openness is hateful. Who likes a hater? Nobody. Let the hater know that their shaming is unwelcome.
“Can I live?” – At the end of the day, it is your life, not theirs! Be sure to remind them of this. You can dress and express yourself in ways that voice who you are. Period.
Shutting down slut shamers can help you, and those around you feel more comfortable expressing who you are.
Remember, you as an individual have full control over your body. Whether it’s how you dress or who you are intimate with, you have the power to choose what you do with your body. Just like Tribes have Tribal sovereignty, we all have body sovereignty.
To learn more about responding to shaming, effective communication, and body sovereignty check out these resources:
- Native Women Just Can’t Anymore: Shutting Down Sex Shamers
- Here’s What You Should Know About Body Sovereignty
- Effective Communication: Getting the Message Across
