i’m 16 and pregnant. my parents love my boyfriend. he’s 19 and has his own place. i’m already graduated and work full time. i practically live with him. but i fear when they find out they’ll make me move back home and keep the baby from him.
Thanks for writing in! You might find that you will need a lot of support during this time, so I am proud of you for taking such a positive step by reaching out.
You’re doing the right thing by looking for help and support. There’s no reason you should go through this alone. So now what?
To break this down, here’s a few things to think about:
- Taking Care of Yourself & Your Baby
- Call your tribal or healthcare provider. Most clinics are doing telehealth, which means they are providing healthcare over the phone or through video. You can talk to them about how you can take good care of yourself and get prenatal care from a doctor or nurse during shelter-in-place regulations. You can also ask them for tips on how to talk to your parents.
Get Prepared – read up on how you can tell your parents you’re pregnant.
Talk with your parents. You’re right in knowing that you’re going to have to talk to your parents, and the sooner the better. Here are some tips for how to do this.
- Get ready – by doing a little research on how to talk to your parents and calling hotlines like PP, you’ll feel better prepared about having the talk with your parents.
- Pick a location –think of a neutral, semi-public place to talk to your parents. Think coffee in the park, or a place where you won’t get easily distracted or interrupted.
- Tell them – Sometimes parents are shocked or angry, and sometimes they're understanding. There is really no way to know how your parents will feel unless you talk with them about it.
Think through exactly what you want to say to them and rehearse it. Practicing with a friend, or trusted adult can be helpful in thinking through what you want to say. You can say something like…
"Mom, Dad, I'm feeling scared about telling you this, but it's important to me to be honest with you. I just found out I'm pregnant. I know you might be disappointed in me, but I could really use your support now. I trust you both and I need your help in deciding what to do next.”
If your parents do get upset, they may just need some time to calm down. Even though it probably feels scary, it’s important you talk with them. They can go over your options with you, and make sure you get proper medical care.
Call and talk with your health care provider - however you decide to move forward, you’ll want to take good care of yourself and get prenatal care from a doctor or nurse.
Lastly, it’s crucial that you get caring and guidance from those around you, even if you don't receive it from your parents. Reach out to other family members who can help you and your parents if you need to.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.