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My best friend got with my ex. Do I forgive her or what?

My best friend got with my ex boyfriend and all she can say is “sorry.” But every time I see them I break down. Do I forgive her or what?

My heart hurts for you. I’m sorry that two people you care about hurt you. I can imagine you might be feeling angry and loss of trust, along with a lot of other emotions. That’s totally normal. Take a moment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.

Now let’s try to make it better.

•Take Care of Yourself. This is a time when it’s okay to be a little selfish. Take time to replenish your body, mind, and spirit. Go for a walk, write in your journal, smudge or sweat, treat yourself to a coffee, or lunch. Be kind to yourself by giving yourself a pep talk to remind yourself of all the good qualities you possess.

•Should you stay, or should you go? Breaking up is hard to do. Having your ex, date someone you thought would always have you back….Even harder. Decide whether having a relationship with both these people is the best thing for you at this time. This doesn’t have to mean forever, but sometimes the healthiest thing to do can be to take a break from the people who aren’t having a positive impact on your life.

•Closure. At some point, if you decide to work on your relationship with your best friend, you’ll want to have an honest conversation with her. Think about the things you would like to see happen going forward in your relationship. You can take this opportunity to tell her how seeing her with your ex makes you feel and what it meant to have her betray your trust and your friendship. At the end of this conversation, you will have a better idea about whether this is a relationship you would like to work, or if it’s time to cut your losses. In any case, having this conversation will help you to clear your mind and have closure on the situation.

•Find Support. Look to other friends or family for support. Surrounding yourself with people who love you and care for you can help you through this tough time. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support or more advice from other trusted adults like your school counselor, or a teacher.

I hope this helps. I’m sending you good thoughts and am wishing you luck on whatever you decide is best for you.

Love,
Auntie Manda

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