ASK AUNTIE QUESTIONS

I don’t know whether I should break up with my girlfriend

I don’t know whether I should break up with my girlfriend or not because she is very attached to me. It would destroy her, but I don’t feel happy. It is very boring.

There’s a lot of power in asking questions of yourself.

Let’s break this down to its simplest form:

  1. You care for this person
  2. You know the way the relationship currently stands is not good for you
  3. You know things need to change

So what do you do? Here are some things to help you think about:

  • Are you worth it? – No doubt. In case you need to hear this from another person, you are absolutely worth being in a relationship that makes you happy, feel secure and comfortable, encourages you to be a better person, and helps you to love yourself more. Ask yourself if this happening in your relationship?
  • What do you want? – You need to be clear with yourself and your girlfriend. If you want the relationship to be over, you need to let her know and not just ‘stay-in-it-for-her-sake’. That’s not fair for either one of you. She deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her and you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Sometime that means being with yourself for awhile.
  • Trust Your Gut – As you are considering what you want to see happen with this relationship, remember to always listen to your instincts. The more you ignore this in life, the less reliable it will become, so don’t get in this bad habit.
  • Be Kind – Just because you know its time to break off a relationship, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it in a way that is kind to the person you have cared so much about. Let her know you will always care about her, but it’s just not working and it’s time to end your relationship. Keep it short and sweet. Remember you are a person of worth and integrity.
  • Get support – breaking up is hard to do, so make sure to surround yourself with people who love you and who you can talk if you need to. Encourage your girlfriend to do the same. If for some reason you think she may hurt herself:
    • Call 911 immediately
    • Talk to a counselor. Visit Mental Health America to find a clinic near you
    • Text START to 741-741, call 800-273-8255 anytime, day or night, or chat with a real person by going to The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s website

Listen to yourself on this one and have family and friends around for support. I’ll be thinking about you and your girlfriend sending you good thoughts!

Love,
Aunty Manda

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