There’s a lot of grabbing girls butts at my school, what can I do

Hello Auntie, there are a lot of touching/grabbing girls butts at my school and everyone thinks that it’s okay. What can I do to stop this? I think adults at school are trying, but looks like nothing is working.

I’m so glad you wrote in. That’s repulsive.

I remember when I was in middle school and the fad was depantsing, but it was both the girls and the boys doing it. My best friend depantsed me as I was walking into biology class. Our parents got called, she got severely chewed out, and she was suspended for a week.

My point is that while my friend thought she was being funny it can quickly turn into something else, especially when people with the wrong intention use it as an excuse.

To be very clear, when someone touches or grabs any part of your body without your consent it is considered a type of sexual assault and legal actions can be taken.

I appreciate that your school’s administrators are working to fix the problem, but if it doesn’t look like it’s getting better, you need to tell them.

If for whatever reason you don’t feel like they’re listening, or really understand how out of control you think it is:

Call the police. Write down all the names of people grabbing butts, who they’re assaulting, the date and the time. If you can get others to speak up alongside you, you can get the message across that the behavior is disgusting and needs to stop NOW. Sexual harassment is something they are required to take very seriously; there are laws that protect us from harassment or retaliation in an educational setting.

Talk to your school counselor. Clearly the school environment needs to change and your teachers and administrators will have to work incredibly hard to create a space that feels safe and comfortable for youth to learn in. Bottom line, that’s the minimal expectation. Your counselor’s job is to support and listen to your concerns and to take action, especially when sexual assault is involved. They can also help you to explore your options on reporting to authorities, or not.

Get support from your elders. Talk to your elders and see if they would be willing to come talk to your class. Sexual assault is something that has touched everyone’s lives in one way or another. Your elders will likely have some wisdom to share and can make a big impact on your classmates behaviors, especially if you’re in a tribal community.

Other Resources:

Text: loveis to 22522

The National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Or, the National Center for Victims of Crime hotline at 1-800-FYI-CALL

Thank you for writing in. Be strong in knowing you can make a difference. I’m with you!

Take care,
Auntie Manda

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Topics: Intolerance|Mental Health|Relationships