Please tell me why an x-best friend I grew up with and my own mom would talk nasty to each other behind my back?

Please tell me why an x-best friend I grew up with and my own mom would talk nasty to each other behind my back? Is that sane and normal? Why did she choose a drug addict over me?

Hey Kyle. Thanks for writing in. I can tell that this is very painful for you and probably feels like a major betrayal from two people you never wantedto have trust issues with.

I can’t tell you why they would get together and say hurtful things behind your back. I don’t know all the details of your situation. Though, my intuitiontells me that because you mentioned drugs and this hurtful behavior together, that the drugs may be playing a major role here. So, I’m going to go outon a limb, and give you some information about symptoms of drug addiction, as well as a few resources for yourself, your mom, and your x-best friend. Itsounds very likely that the drug use is getting in their way of making good decisions.

Here are some common signs and symptoms of drug abuse (checkout the last one):

  • Neglecting responsibilities at school, work, or home (e.g. flunking classes, skipping work, neglecting children) because of your/their drug use.
  • Using drugs under dangerous conditions or taking risks while high, such as driving while on drugs, using dirty needles, or having unprotected sex.
  • Drug use that gets you/them into legal trouble, such as arrests for disorderly conduct, driving under the influence, or stealing to support a drug habit.
  • Drug use that causes relationship problems, such as fights with your partner or family members, an unhappy boss, or the loss of old friends.

Educate Yourself. If this sounds like it might be hitting the mark, equip yourself with as much information as you possibly can. Checkout this list of self-help resources.

Find services in your area. Once you’ve gotten more information on drug and alcohol addiction, talk to a trusted adult like a counselor,teacher or another family member that can help you get help for your mother. You can get immediate help finding a substance abuse treatment center throughthe Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration or call 1-800-662-HELP (inSpanish, 1-800-662-9832).

If you feel like they are engaging in an inappropriate relationship, that would be a whole other story… you can send another question with a littlemore information, if I got this one totally wrong.

Kyle, thanks again for writing in!

Auntie Manda

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