Hey there! I’m so glad you wrote in.
First, I want to give you big props for reaching out for some support and encouragement. That’s what true bravery is, listening to the truth of what’s in your heart and taking action. Go you!
There are a few things I want to address in your question, so I’ll first start with the depression and anxiety.
I have answered a few questions around depression and anxiety before that I think might be helpful for you, so please check that out here: https://www.wernative.org/ayr-questions/face-depression-and-anxiety and this one: https://www.wernative.org/ayr-questions/what-is-the-difference-between-regular-depression-and-high-functioning-depression
Secondly, I too put myself through school by working full time and it was beyond stressful, especially because I was waiting tables and was often barely able to pay rent most months.
Everybody’s path is different, which is pretty lovely in its own way 🙂 but also because of this, it can create difficulty when you’re trying to carve out your own path. Often, insecurity or indecisiveness can be present, especially when you’re figuring yourself out in addition to making major life decisions. I’ll just say that it’s hard and you’re not alone in this. But you can do hard stuff!
Some things I would consider doing is to:
- Schedule an appointment with the school counselor or tribal counselor and tell them what you told me
- Find Tribal Youth Groups – either at your school, tribe, or online. Peer support, especially with others who are also going to school and working can be invaluable for sharing tips and feeling supported
- Reach out to friends and family – just by surrounding yourself with loved ones can do wonders for lifting your spirit
Lastly, if you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life…give yourself a big pat on the back! No one knows this. What I can tell you is that most people go through several major careers in their lives. This is okay. I’ve been through two already and am thinking of going back to school for a third time! While transitions are challenging for everybody, they can also be really wonderful because it opens up your world to new experiences…and growing can be pretty amazing.
I did find another question that might be helpful for you in starting that conversation with yourself about what you’re most interested in and what makes most sense for you to do now: https://www.wernative.org/ayr-questions/i-m-getting-closer-to-graduating
And however you approach things in life, the best advice I can give you is to prioritize the relationship that you have with yourself above any other earthy relationship. And, while you’re at it get comfortable talking to Creator (or whatever you want to call your higher power) and your relatives (if you’re not already) because they’re always with you, wanting the best for you.
The way that I know how to prioritize myself is to journal. It helps me to separate myself from my thoughts and that gives me the space to find clarity and peace with what I am feeling, which in turn gives me confidence to be brave in my choices. Maybe give it a try.
Lastly, lastly, I’ll leave you with a great quote I recently read:
“We tell our children that brave means feeling afraid and doing it anyway, but is this the definition we want them to carry as they grow older? … Brave does not mean feeling afraid and doing it anyway.
Brave means living from the inside out. Brave means, in every uncertain moment, turning inward, feeling for the Knowing, and speaking it out loud.” – Glennon Doyle
I hope this helps. I’m sending you big hugs and I’ll say my prayers for you today.