How do I move on from this toxic person/relationship???

Hey Auntie. I’ve known and dated this person. Sadly we didn’t last. I’m very hooked onto this person and I love this person, but they have put me through a lot. Emotionally and Mentally. How do I move on from this toxic person/relationship???

Hey there, thanks for writing in!

Breaking up with someone doesn’t mean that once you do, you automatically stop caring for that person. You’re not a robot. You’re a loving and kind person who cares about what happens to the people you love. There’s nothing wrong with that.

However, it sounds like you know it’s time for you to move on, so let’s work on moving on…

Let’s break this down to its simplest form:

  1. You care for this person
  2. You know the way the relationship currently stands is not good for you
  3. You know things need to change

Here are some things to think about:

  • Are you worth it? – No doubt. In case you need to hear this from another person, you are absolutely worth being in a relationship that shows you respect, makes you feel secure and comfortable, encourages you to be a better person, and helps you to love yourself more. If this hasn’t happened in your relationship, it’s time to move on.
  • Trust Your Gut – You need to be clear with yourself. If you know with your gut that the relationship needs to be over because it’s not healthy, be clear and honest with yourself. You don’t need to go back and forth deciding what you should do, and there’s no need to feel guilty about taking care of yourself.
  • Set the intention of moving forward.
  • Find Closure – once you’ve taken time to accept that moving forward without this person is best for you, take a moment to say ‘adios’. If you haven’t done it in person already, consider telling the person; you will always care about them, but it’s just not working and it’s time to end your relationship. Keep it short and sweet. Remember you are a person of worth and integrity. 
  • Get support – breaking up is hard to do, so make sure to surround yourself with people who love you and who you can talk to if you needed.

I’ll be thinking about you and sending you good thoughts! Good luck to you and I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself.

Aunty Manda


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