My boyfriend is native, but he’s fairly light skinned and his family separated from their tribe years ago. He isn’t confident in who he is and is always doubting his roots though we both know he is apache. How can I help him? What can we do to connect him

What a great friend and girlfriend you are.

As Indigenous people, we have a very long and devastating history that has stolen so much of our culture, languages, and identity. But there’s no need for that anymore.

With great allies like yourself and brave people like your boyfriend, we can reclaim our heritage and live the lives that our ancestors gave so much of to keep alive.

People have their own opinions about everything. That doesn’t have anything to do with your boyfriend. It has everything to do with the other person. That’s not his problem.

It’s not his job to change the way people see things. That’s their job. Your boyfriend (and your) job is to be the best version of yourselves possible. Period. If that includes fully accepting himself as a light skinned Native, then the rest will fall into place.

When we start to shift to seeing ourselves more positively, then you move away from the negative.

Stay connected with We R Native’s community and social media channels. Your boyfriend can see that Indigenous people come in all shapes and sizes with very different backgrounds. What keeps us connected, is our ancestors voices encouraging us to connect with our roots and show our Native pride. He is not alone.

Best of luck!

Auntie Manda

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