I really really like this boy and my best friend is going out with him, should I secretly sabotage their relationship?

Dear Auntie, I really really like this boy and my best friend is going out with him, but I know she doesn’t like him the way I do. What do I do? Do I talk to her or him or secretly sabotage their relationship?

Thanks for writing in. This is something you can walk through and feel good about yourself at the end…if you so choose. 🙂

Right off the bat I can tell you that you don’t want to do anything shady, like sabotage their relationship. Not only because it’s an a-hole thing to do, but also because whatever you do, you want to do with integrity. And sabotage isn’t the way you get there.

Here are some things to ask yourself as you decide what do to:

  • Does it matter that she doesn’t like him as much as you do?
  • Is this something you would want to sacrifice your friendship over?
  • Will talking to either of them affect your relationship with each of them?
  • What if things with this guy didn’t work out?
  • Can you be patient?

Some things to consider:

  • Often teenage relationships are a time to feel out what it means to be in a relationship. Sometimes this means they can be short-term. If you can be patient, and if your friend doesn’t seem to be too into him, perhaps their relationship will run its course sooner rather than later.
  • Consider how much better a relationship will be when you know you entered it honestly and with your pride in tact. These are attractive features and things people look for in long-term partners.

I wish I could tell you exactly what to do and it would work out perfectly, but unfortunately it doesn’t work out this way. What I can tell you is that whatever you chose to do, make sure it speaks to the person you want to be…your best version of yourself. If it doesn’t, then consider whether it’s worth being a lesser version of yourself.

I wish you the best, as you, your best friend, and your love interest deserve it.

Take care,
Auntie Manda

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