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Dear Relatives, I have recently started to seriously try to reconnect with my Choctaw culture. Something complicates my existence is the fact that I’m transgender. Perhaps, this is another reason why I feel lost. Not only do I want to feel like a whole woman, I want to feel like a whole person. Anyway, do you have any advice?

Hi there, Halito relative! Yakoke for writing in – I always get a lil extra excited when I see other Choctaws reach out 🙂 Let’s see where I can support you! I definitely want to acknowledge what youv’e written, because there’s so much there – goodness. I want to give…
Answered by Cousin Asia
Topics: 2SLGBTQ, Identity, Intolerance, Mental Health, Spirituality

I am a white woman of Ukrainian descent who has been involved in aboriginal ceremonies for the past 12 years. I have been so grateful to have more recently participated in a Ghost Dance and a Sun Dance and a Yuwipi ceremony. I am always careful to honour protocol and wear an appropriate long skirt (hard being 6 feet tall to find one long enough!). I have wanted to be as respectful as possible. I am curious if making a ribbon skirt or a dress to do Ghost Dance is allowed for a participant if they are not native. I have received very mixed messages. Some aboriginal people welcome it and find it extremely respectful and others have said it is appropriation. I feel the only dresses that are suitably long and modest are often from another culture- African, Mexican- unless I make something myself. Can you share your thoughts with me?

I’m glad you asked this question, Please continue to take these precautions and ask these questions, as a non native interested in another culture’s traditional artwork. Good to hear that you have respect for other Native cultures, and coming from being Native there are several things to be aware of.…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Identity, Intolerance, Non-Native Allies

Hi Auntie! I’m a white Canadian citizen and I was wondering if it is disrespectful of me or if I am overstepping my boundaries by dating someone who is indigenous? I’ve dated someone for a couple of years who was indigenous and we got along very well, but his mother and friends were not welcoming to our relationship and neither was my mother. His mother preferred that he end up with an indigenous woman in his future and my mom the opposite with me being white. I ended up breaking off our relationship because I didn’t want to cause any hardship between him and his mother and friends, but it really broke my heart because he was also my best friend not just my partner since we were best friends since middle school

Hi there! Thanks for the question. When it comes to relationships like these, it sometimes happens that one or both sides of a family do not approve of the union – it’s tough. Unfortunately, this approval should never have anything to do with the color of someone’s skin. So long…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Identity, Intolerance, Non-Native Allies

Hi, I have a difficulty with one of my teachers at school. She often puts down my religion by comparing it to other Abrahamic religions and talks about in in an unflattering light. In my country, my religion is the majority but in my opinion, faces a lot of bigotry, more so than the minorities. We don’t have control over our religious sites, we can’t endorse schools based on our religion, and we are often portrayed as fascist when I can guarantee that we are the furthest from that label. I want to confront my teacher and tell her how her misinformed and one sided statements are offensive, not only to me but to other students of my religion as well. However I don’t want to be seen as a bigot, or rigid in my beliefs. This is difficult since majority of my peer group are exposed to media that deliberately manipulates information to distort my religion, which is indigenous to my country and has survived both the Mughal Invasion as well as the British Empire. Can I have some advice on how to make my stance and concerns clear without being labelled as a bigot?

Hey there! Thank you for writing in and I hope you were able to find a caring adult who could help you specifically  with that question. I’ve been thinking about your question and I feel like we can break this down into two fundamental issues: first, how to deal when…
Answered by Auntie Jane
Topics: Education, Intolerance, Spirituality

I’m a 19 year old Two-Spirit who identifies as male. For me to feel comfortable I cut my hair because growing up even on my Rez girls had long hair and unless you have “Native hair” boys have short hair. I want to grow my hair but I don’t want my tribes people to start calling me female names/pronouns. Any tips?

Greetings! First off, congratulations on reaching such clarity in your gender identity. It can take people years, well into adulthood, to understand our genders given how little gender diversity we tend to be taught about at a young age. For me, I have found that the way people perceive my…
Answered by Itai
Topics: 2SLGBTQ, Identity, Intolerance, Spirituality

I recently found out I’m 1/8th Indigenous on my mom’s side and want to learn more about my tribe. When I ask my mom, she says I’m not enough blood quantum and should learn about ALL indigenous cultures rather than our specific tribe (which she won’t tell me) if I’m interested. Even when I ask for other family’s contact info, it’s a toss up on whether or not they’ll even acknowledge me because I’m trans. What do I do?

Greetings! First off, congratulations on reaching such clarity in your gender identity. It can take people years, well into adulthood, to understand our genders given how little gender diversity we tend to be taught about at a young age. While I know that some people in our society may never…
Topics: Identity, Intolerance, Life Tips, Non-Native Allies

Why are Native Americans offended by the use of school Mascots like “Indians” where it’s used as a symbol of pride, strength, good luck, and lifelong connection among alumni? No disrespect is, or was, ever intended. Some schools have had mascots like this for over 50 years and now there are efforts to destroy them and the memories and history they represent. Why?

Thanks for writing in! This is such a great and timely question. For me, it’s a matter of individual perspective. When we group people and say that all Native Americans are offended by mascots it is incorrect. When we see people as a group, it takes away from knowing that…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Activism, Intolerance, Life Tips, Non-Native Allies
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