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Dear Auntie Manda, I have recently started to seriously try to reconnect with my Choctaw culture. My Great-great Grandpa, was an enrolled member of Choctaw Nation. He was orphaned as a child and enrolled in 1903, signing the Dawes Roll and moving to Oklahoma. For some reason, his children we not enrolled, which meant neither was my Nana or my father. My mom is full white and my dad is mixed, which makes me look very ambiguous to people because of my lighter skin and freckles. I’m afraid of overstepping by reconnecting since I’ve been socialized as a white person. I’ve started learning Choctaw and Tribal history, but I’m afraid to openly claim my heritage as a part of my identity for fear of backlash, not just from people who don’t know me, but from people that do. A few times, I’ve had friends and even family ask me, “Why is this so important to you? Why now?” I can’t put it into words, but I’ve always felt so lost and have had no cultural connection to anything growing up. I don’t want to feel disconnected anymore. Also, another thing that complicates my existence is the fact that I’m transgender. Perhaps, this is another reason why I feel lost. Not only do I want to feel like a whole woman, I want to feel like a whole person. Anyway, do you have any advice?

I am a white woman of Ukrainian descent who has been involved in aboriginal ceremonies for the past 12 years. I have been so grateful to have more recently participated in a Ghost Dance and a Sun Dance and a Yuwipi ceremony. I am always careful to honour protocol and wear an appropriate long skirt (hard being 6 feet tall to find one long enough!). I have wanted to be as respectful as possible. I am curious if making a ribbon skirt or a dress to do Ghost Dance is allowed for a participant if they are not native. I have received very mixed messages. Some aboriginal people welcome it and find it extremely respectful and others have said it is appropriation. I feel the only dresses that are suitably long and modest are often from another culture- African, Mexican- unless I make something myself. Can you share your thoughts with me?

Hi Auntie! I’m a white Canadian citizen and I was wondering if it is disrespectful of me or if I am overstepping my boundaries by dating someone who is indigenous? I’ve dated someone for a couple of years who was indigenous and we got along very well, but his mother and friends were not welcoming to our relationship and neither was my mother. His mother preferred that he end up with an indigenous woman in his future and my mom the opposite with me being white. I ended up breaking off our relationship because I didn’t want to cause any hardship between him and his mother and friends, but it really broke my heart because he was also my best friend not just my partner since we were best friends since middle school

Hi, I have a difficulty with one of my teachers at school. She often puts down my religion by comparing it to other Abrahamic religions and talks about in in an unflattering light. In my country, my religion is the majority but in my opinion, faces a lot of bigotry, more so than the minorities. We don’t have control over our religious sites, we can’t endorse schools based on our religion, and we are often portrayed as fascist when I can guarantee that we are the furthest from that label. I want to confront my teacher and tell her how her misinformed and one sided statements are offensive, not only to me but to other students of my religion as well. However I don’t want to be seen as a bigot, or rigid in my beliefs. This is difficult since majority of my peer group are exposed to media that deliberately manipulates information to distort my religion, which is indigenous to my country and has survived both the Mughal Invasion as well as the British Empire. Can I have some advice on how to make my stance and concerns clear without being labelled as a bigot?

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