I started to learn about my culture last year (ICWA) and one family member told me I carried bad medicine after an argument, they told community that I’m on drugs, I know this is just my side but I know myself. Now I’m ashamed to go to ceremony. What do I do?
This is a complicated question to advise you on. I am glad you are learning about your culture and encourage you to continue with this journey, because the more you know about who you are and where you come from, the more self-assured you will be.
Many tribes have different beliefs about who carries “good” or “bad” medicine and who can and cannot attend ceremony. In many teachings the purpose of ceremony is to help people who are struggling to find guidance and support.
We all struggle at different points in our lives, I do not believe that anyone should be ashamed to attend ceremony, even if they have had bumps along the road. Dealing with family can be challenging, we all have to learn how to navigate these relations and more towards finding balance.
I encourage you to continue to find out who you are, seek out positive adult relationship in your community and seek out ceremony to help guide you.