After Someone Dies: Moving Back Into Your Routine

Managing life after the memorial service. After the service, you might have to start thinking about returning to your everyday routine including school and/or work. It’s likely that you’re still grieving, which can make it hard to get back into a balanced routine. Everybody is different, and it’s a good idea to get back into your routine at a pace that suits you. Over time, it’s likely that you’ll get back into the swing of things.

Talk to your teacher or boss. If you’re going back to school and/or work, it might be a good idea to talk with your teacher or boss about what you want others to know about your loss. Discussing your workload with your teacher or boss might also help you ease back in. Also, keep in mind that difficulties with concentration and memory are common during the grieving process, and they might affect your performance.

Take time out. It’s important for you to manage how you’re feeling. It might be helpful to set aside some time in the day to deal with your thoughts. During this time, you might want to write in a journal, draw, punch a pillow, or exercise to let off some steam.

Value your memories. Memories help you to remember the person you’ve lost, and over time the pain will fade into happy memories. Remember that it’s O.K. to cry and be saddened by the memories at first.

Talk to someone. Sometimes talking to someone about how you’re feeling helps you manage your emotions and make sense of them. You might want to talk to a family member, friend, teacher or counselor, or other mental health professional. Check out the Get Help section for more information about how these people can help you. If you need to talk to someone immediately, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or The Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. Both hotlines are free and have trained volunteers available to speak with you 24/7.

Acknowledgment: This fact sheet was originally developed by youth and staff at, a website that helps teens get through tough times. 

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